Latest news!! We managed to get the mug shot from Ariel's recent arrest for cocaine abuse! Ha! Ariel's management tried to sweep this one under the rug, but we have it, and we're showing it. You won't see this in the papers, but you'll see it here.

Here's the latest pic of me and Whiney. As you can see, we're lean and mean, unlike that fat bitch Ariel. We should be the ones on the cover of Feline Magazine, don't you think? But no, we're not willing to sleep our way to the top like a certain drug sniffing kitty we know...

SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT

Ariel claims to have done a lot of great shit, so we've decided to set the record straight:

"Ariel is the first cat to jump the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle."

- Grand Canyon my furry ass. We were there, and the only thing Ariel jumped was a muddy ditch near Victoria B.C. And that motorcycle was a fucking scooter...

"Ariel has appeared in five commercials for anti-odor devices."

- Yeah, you know why? Ariel fucking stinks, thats why.

"Ariel won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1998 for work in Thermodynamics."

- There's a lot of controversy about this one. Funny how me and poots were working on the same theory before a "mysterious" fire in our cat box destroyed our notes.

"Ariel pioneered the smokeless ashtray and the wireless wonder bra."

- You know, this one pisses us off the most. Xerox had no idea what they had when they sold the initial plans to Ariel back in 1984. Come on Ariel, come up with an idea on your own for once. We bet you can't.

"Ariel broke the land speed record for a cat 8 times."

- Yeah, and we have word it only took 50 cc's of illegal methane injections to produce the thrust to do it.

Here's another pic of us for your viewing pleasure. Got some dirt on Ariel? Just email it to us.