The Man, The Myth, The Legend

During the dark days in the 90's, post-Commodore-bankruptcy, there was one man who kept hope alive for the Amiga faithful. One generously proportioned man who, armed with nothing but the vague wisps of an ethereal dream and some Amiga soda cans, kept it all going.

This page is dedicated to that portly man.

As you can see from the picture above, Petro (right) was a man of the people. Even the most repulsive and questionable looking Amiga geek could count on Petro posing for a pic with him.

In the winter of 2000, a ripple went through the Christian establishment as Eyetech immortalized Petro Tyschtschenko in the form of a Christmas card. Amiga fans worldwide decried Jesus and began to worship at the alter of Petro.

For Bill Gates, it was the release of Windows. For Steve Jobs, the first Macintosh system. Not one to aim low, Petro topped all of them. Behold Amiga Cola... the pinnacle of the Petro Era.

If Petro's cult status didn't bring in the chicks, he could always fall back on his Amiga Trans-Am. Rumors abound that he "boing balled" many a female fan in the backseat of this incredible machine.

It may be difficult to tell from this picture, but this cake from Petro's retirement party is actually the size of Delaware. It took 2 weeks for a team of Mexican laborers to complete it and another 3 weeks for Petro to fully consume it. During this time, the governments of the world declared a period of mourning and wistful contemplation.